Eleanor Reisinger Silvers
Written by Beloved Granddaughter, Jennifer Ann Rose
June 7th, 2012
“The consciousness of the dying man finds itself suddenly relieved of the weight of the body, of the necessity to breathe, and of any physical pain. A sense of soaring through a tunnel of very peaceful, hazy, dim light is experienced by the soul. Then the soul drifts into a state of oblivious sleep, a million times deeper and enjoyable than the deepest sleep experienced in the physical body...The after-death state is variously experienced by different people in accordance with their modes of living while on earth .Just as different people vary in the duration and depth of their sleep, so do they vary in their experiences after death. The god man who works hard in the factory of life goes into a deep, unconscious, restful sleep for a short while. He then awakens in some region of life in the astral world: “In my Father’s house are many mansions.”
~John 14:2
Eleanor Reisinger Silvers
Born July 4, 1918
Died June 1, 2012
Written By:
Beloved Granddaughter
(At the ripe age of 21)
A legacy that will be well remembered!
Some excerpts taken from the eulogy I wrote of my Beloved Grandmother; my mother's mom:
Eleanor Silvers; A woman of beauty and warmth, celebration and love, family and loyalty.
I write these words in dedication to my grandmother, Eleanor Reisinger Silvers, born July 4th, 1918, in beautiful Youngstown, Ohio; a woman of deep commitment and compassion and a woman who was utterly devoted to those she loved. My memories of Ellie, are here before you.
I celebrate her and her life; for she had the strength of an Ox and the power of a Female lion! She roared when there was trouble, and she laughed when she saw a familiar face, but she was often silent and mistook love for harm, or kindness and gifts from others as an unknown desire. She would not allow others to help her, for as long as I can remember. She was and still is; the leader!
I came into her life when she was in her mid 50s, and I was a young child at this time, so I don’t have the memories of her in her twenties, or younger years, although I can only imagine she was a more innocent version of the woman I met and loved. I loved her deeply and felt for a long time she was my best friend; until she moved into my parents home, in West Chester, around 1986. I would come to visit her on the weekends during the time she lived in Berwyn, PA, from the age of 2 or 3 until I was about 13 when she moved in. During that time frame when I visited her, I observed her candor, her laisez faire friendliness with the neighbors and watched her in joy. I could only imagine her in the 1930’s, 40’s and 50’s with the parties and joy of our culture at this time; being in elegant gowns and fancy dresses or clothes, and the center of the party. She was as elegant or more so than Marilyn Monroe, and had the beauty of a celebrity. And her laughter was clear, vivid and magnetic. You would always know when she was happy and she lit up the entire house with her voice of celebration!
When I visited her in her apartment in Berwyn, I would watch her decorate her face and skin with vivid colors and her radiance became magnified as she glowed in the reflection of the mirrors. Her hair was gorgeous and long and I always craved having the same beauty in my own. I can imagine her ritual of beauty is what wore off on my mother, Julie, since she herself had become a Beauty Consultant and made others beautiful, and continued this profession for most of my childhood. As Goggi grew older, she didn’t see the beauty in herself that we all saw in her. In her 70s and 80s people would often ask if she was my mother in her 50’s or 60’s and I would smile and tell the truth, “No, she is actually 20 or 30 years past that.” And, EVERY time I would get a mouth drop in front of me, completely bewildered that this was even possible, but it was! However, she couldn’t see in herself what everyone else saw in her; a gorgeous beauty and Goddess of joy, family and love; something I am grateful for her passing this on to my mother and to myself. It wasn’t even long ago, where I said to Ellie, “You could be an elderly model and start a new trend.” She just looked at me and laughed as if I was joking, but surely, I was not!
Ellie, or Eleanor was a school teacher and she was deeply loved by her students and by the parents of these students, and she had many fond memories of them and would share her stories with me over the years as something she was very proud of and celebrated in her accomplishments. I knew this was true, as I had been with her on several occasions at the school and met some of her students who had been adults and still continued to visit her, and love her. I found out only recently that she herself was the direct person who made a stand and lead the cause of educating all children of learning disabilities, mental retardation and autism. Without her, those children may not have ever been educated, or perhaps it may have been started by someone else, but in my mother's eyes, I know it was her. No one else we knew was as committed to teaching children as she was.
Her commitment most of all was to my mother, and although they didn’t speak the words of their commitment, to each other, there was NOTHING more important. If one of them was upset, the other would follow, and there was nothing you could do to change how they felt. It was if they were twins, and read each others minds, and their sole purpose was to protect each other, and be sure the other was happy, and if they weren’t you would know about it! If one of them needed something, the other was there, and they would do anything in their power to be sure the others needs were met; even if the tasks seemed nearly impossible; they would make it happen! There was nothing they couldn’t accomplish together; their journey was to be a Team for the other, and in being so, both of their lives were successful and fulfilled.
My grandmother, Ellie was a survivor of love, and her loyalty to her husband remained throughout her life, as though she wanted to be known as a Widow who would NEVER leave him. She kept both her engagement ring and wedding band on her entire life. I don’t ever remember her hands being free of them. The diamonds of loyalty shined off of her, like the Queen wearing her crown!
She had a boyfriend for a time after her husband died; a man I also deeply loved, named Art, a jovial and playful Aries and friend to the entire family. We believed he would be her husband, but then died of Cancer, and Ellie then chose never to date again. My heart always went out to her. I had felt she was in pain and heartbroken all those years, but it was her choice; and choices have power in them, and hers was in being loyal. She will forever be remembered having this quality.
Eleanor was a strong woman, who lived a long life, from 1918 until 2012; nearing 100 years, she saw the world change in many forms, and in her eyes lived a full rich life, and ended it in peace and acceptance that she was ready to go. She was extraordinarily healthy, and had her knees not dropped out from under her, she would have easily stayed with us another 10 years. A wheelchair would have done the trick in keeping her from falling, but as a leader, and a stubborn one at that, she made her choice to walk on her own, and did it with bravery and caution. Anyone who would have fallen and hit their head as hard as she did would have had the same challenge in recovering from brain surgery. Many skiers who have hit their heads in accidents, died instantly, or shortly after, but she stayed with us for 4 weeks afterwards. This shows her strength and her power.
She introduced me to the written word and during the weekends I stayed with her, she drove me or walked me to the library and guided me to check out as many books as I liked. I remember often coming home with 10 or 15 books as a child, and developed a passion for reading and the art of writing, and in my heart, she opened that door. When I finally publish my own real book, I will have her to be thankful for. It didn’t matter what town we were in, she would find a library and we would take books out from there. As an adult, I spent many days and nights in libraries or book stores, just relaxing amongst the books, and I would find this to be more soothing and relaxing than many other things I chose. I believe this passion came from her. Thank you Ellie!
She introduced me to creating my own cards at the age of 5, and I then started creating my own passages in the cards, and a form of poetry of my own, and would create these cards for all holidays for all my family members when I was young. The memories of going to the stores to get office supplies were some of my happiest memories from my childhood.
Eleanor was a large part of my family growing up, and after she moved in to my home, and my father left, she became more like a mother to me than to a grandmother. She was the boss while my mom was out, and then the next boss came in. It was a little challenging to deal with, but I know her love went into everything she did, and what she did, she did it for my mom. I know she is deeply grateful for her help, and may not have been able to raise 4 children without her.
She would cook German meals on Holidays, or teach my mom how to cook them from recipes, and did her best to pass down the family tradition of a Strong rooted German Catholic family! Although they both were missing the strong German Catholic other half, and during the Holidays there was not a Grandfather or Father present, however, these 2 strong women were a team you didn’t want to mess with! As a child my motto was often, “either run or hide, because here they come!” As an adult I can now laugh about this.
I am grateful that only a couple months ago I wrote Ellie a letter, letting her know I love her, appreciate her and am grateful for all she gave to me my whole life, and to my little boy. I updated her on what I was up to, goals I am working on and challenges that I have overcome. I felt this was an excellent form of communication since she was almost deaf and you had to almost scream at her in order for her to hear you, and it often hurt my throat. I was grateful she could read, and offered this as a form of communication to continue using. I am sad I only used that method once, however, I am happy I did it when I did. She got to experience me and know me closer right before she left.
I remember Eleanor for her sweet tooth, as we shared this all consuming habit together, and her love for German delicacies. She introduced me to Peanut Brittle back in her apartment in Berwyn. In my mom’s home in West Chester, she had a tin can filled with many treats and candies galore. She hid it under the chair and offered it to little Sach or myself when we came to visit. She had chocolates, hard candies and the yummy Werther's candies, that I had completely forgotten about until she reminded me of this love years later. She loved Double Chocolate Milano’s from Pepridge Farm, Peppermint Patties, and Ginger Snap cookies that were hard and crisp. She loved the Dark Chocolate Thin Mints Cookies from the GirlScouts and snuck these often with my mom. She loved Stuffed Green Peppers, and Sourcrout with Veal and Apple Sauce. She LOVED Pumpernickel Bread, especially when it was fresh and warm. She thanked me when I surprised her with a box of Snickerdoodle Cookies, filled with Cinnamon and Buttermilk. We shared a love for fudge popsicles and would always choose these over ice popsicles any day. We shared a love for Christmas Cookies every year with my mom, and favoritized over the white powered moon crescents. I believe they came up with their own recipe, and we’ll have to explore to figure out how it was done, but they were hers and my ultimate favorite as they melted in our mouths. I remember as a teenager in my mom’s house my grandmother would hide several containers under her bed, but since I didn’t divulge the entire container like my brothers did, I was allowed to a few when I asked nicely.
Ellie was known for her love of life, her love of Holidays, her love of the beach, celebration of the 4th of July, drinking her vodkas and tonics, with the smile of a model, the passion for love, a heart for children and a zest for life. She will be deeply remembered and deeply loved.
“Death is the culmination of life. In death, life seeks rest. It is precursor to the greatest happiness, the exquisite freedom from all tortures of flesh. Death automatically dismisses all bodily pain, just as sleep banishes the weariness and aches of the hard-worked body. Death is a parole from the prison of the physical body.”
~Paramahansa Yogananda
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gratitude for Your Condolences and
All The Work I have done on Myself Prepared Me For This Moment
Thanks to all of your condolences with my grandmother. The Viewing was last Thursday and the Funeral was this past Friday morning, June 8th and 10am. It was a hard day, but the family stood together, and the 2 strongest grandchildren, one of my brother's and I, stood for the rest of the family that couldn't. And my mom did her best to go up to the microphone and speak the words of her love for her Mother, but as she was called up, I asked her, "would you like me to go with you?" She firmly said "YES!" And I placed my hand on her back while she spoke, and held her hand as we walked up and back down. She said she didn't think she would have been able to do it without me. Although I am no longer Catholic, I was raised that way, and I read from the Mass book several times as the Pastor had lead me. My brothers were in the pews crying emotionally, so I am grateful I had the strength to do this for the whole family. My brother that came up only read once, and he reached out for my hand to hold before he went up in front of the audience. I am so happy my brothers can open their hearts to me and let me love them. I am the one in the family who has done the most extensive healing work, and for this I can stand as the leader. I spent the evening after the Funeral and Gathering at my mom's and the following morning, to support her as this is the difficult and challenging for her; they were as close as twins. I honored her request as this is a VERY special time. While I was there, I went through my grandmother's closet and drawers and found some very elegant clothes and dresses and jewelry that I would love to wear and keep her close to me. She was a VERY classy and elegant lady, and has a lot of jewelry and clothes reflective of that. I put the items I chose in a pile on a chair in her room, and got to take a couple pieces I chose home with me. They are things flowy and flashy, and somewhat hippy and things I know my mom most likely would never wear, but I would. Some are too long or big because she was a stunning 5'10", but they can easily be hemmed and fitted to fit. I would much rather keep some things around than get rid of everything to the Good Will. She also has tons of books, as she is the root of my love for reading and writing, and I can understand how they would be hard to get rid of. This is the beginning of a new Chapter for my family and myself.
I am not a rock, as I did have moments of tears, but I know I am at peace with her and will continue to pray to her. This eulogy I shared above, was also shared at the burial. I may be returning to this and adding to it as things come up to write.
Never the spirit was born; the spirit shall cease to be never;
Never was time it was not; End and Beginning are dreams!
Birthless and Deathless and changeless remaineth the spirit forever;
Death hath not touched it at all, dead though the house of it seems.”
~Paramahansa Yogananda
Right before she left us, she was still glowing and magnetic, nearing the age of 94, she was a Leader to all of us.
I will be creating a Journal/Scrapbook in dedication to this magnetic woman, to keep in the family for generations to come. I feel her spirit flowing through me and motivating me to organize my photos and writing and to "get on the ball" to offer this for all those who come after us. Our love and loyalty will be with you.
“When a dear one dies, instead of grieving unreasonably, realize that he has gone on to a higher plane at the will of God, and that God knows what is best for him. Rejoice that he is free. Pray that your love and goodwill be messengers of encouragement to him on his forward path. This attitude is much more helpful. Of course we would not be human if we did not miss loved ones; but in feeling lonesome for them we don’t want selfish attachment to be the cause of keeping them earthbound. Extreme sorrow prevents a soul from going ahead towards greater peace and freedom.”
~Paramahansa Yogananda
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